armed chimps

That's right, they're making weapons now. We're screwed.

fencing junior olympics

Last weekend Eva and I headed down to the Denver Convention Center to watch some fencing. The JO's were being held in Denver this year, and some of the best American fencers under 21 years old were competing. I don't think I've ever seen quite so many upper-middle class kids in one place at one time. Some kids were obviously there to have a good time, but some were pretty clearly there to WIN at all costs. I saw kids crying, screaming, getting yelled at by their coaches. I even saw a coach yell at a referee whose calls he didn't like. He screamed "Fuck you! You fucking moron!", right in front of his teenage students.

But one of the worst was a foil bout between two girls. The score was close: 13-14 (bouts end at 15 points). Every time the director said "fence", both girls charged at each other, and both hit at exactly the same time. No point for either side. They kept doing this, over and over again, literally about 20 times. Even a moderately experienced fencer would have changed tactics to try and score a point, but each girl had her respective coach yelling "Don't back down! Don't be the first to break!". It became clear that they were both too afraid of failure, and too afraid of their coaches, to take the initiative to try a different action. Each one did as she was told until finally, mercifully, one of them missed and the bout ended 15-13. By the end they were both in tears.

I'm glad I came to fencing the way I did, just screwing around and fencing with friends for years, never taking it too seriously. It was a long time before I ever thought about competing or training. Of course I'll never be an A-rated hotshot, but at least I'm having fun when I'm out there.

Kepler's mother was a witch!

I found a very, very funny website. I don't think I could have done a better job myself of satirizing the religious right. But of course it's not satire. Follow this link to find a real live creationist and geocentrist. That's right, the earth doesn't move. It doesn't even rotate. Not only this, but the website's founder, Marshall Hall, informs us that evolution and the heliocentric model of the solar system are in fact Jewish conspiracies.

Before you dismiss this guy as a harmless wackjob, you should know that his website was recently referenced by congressmen from Texas and Georgia in an attack on teaching evolution in public schools. No shit. Here's the story.

I'm beginning to think that getting German residency with Eva might not be such a bad idea.

frozen dead guy days

There is a frozen corpse in a shed in Nederland, Colorado. Apparently this is a reason to celebrate. My outdoor group will be entering the coffin race. I plan on dressing as the Son of Svengoolie.

So why is there a frozen corpse in Nederland? The ever-useful Wikipedia explains it all.

Nederland is a great little town. I imagine it's where the ex-hippies without money settled down, as opposed to the affluent hippies of Boulder. Last time the wife and I were in Nederland, we ate at a little pizza joint staffed by pot-head kids. They were talking about when they had lived in Boulder, and one said "You know why it's so windy in Nederland? Because Boulder sucks."

some vidoes you can watch without feeling like you've been mugged

The Borat movie sucked. Paying to see it felt like I'd been assaulted and robbed. But on youtube, you can find a lot of the good stuff Sacha Baron Cohen did on the Ali G show.


Bruno, the gay Austrian fashion reporter...
...in Alabama.
...meeting with a minister who will cure you of the homosexual lifestyle.
...wrestling unsuspecting frat guys.


Borat (you know who he is), not sucking, interviewing...
...a Texan who wouldn't mind hunting jews.


Ali G, the half-wit hip-hop personality, interviews...
...a panel of religious "experts".

can't do this in Illinois

Last weekend the hiking group took a nice little trip out to Hanging Lake and Glenwood Springs. It only took about three hours to drive out there Saturday morning (though several hours longer to get back, fighting the ski resort traffic).

The hike took us to a frozen lake and waterfall. Check out the pictures.

Then at at night we relaxed in the hot springs.

Why the hell didn't I move out west sooner?